Thinking about little Silas, on the brink of meeting Jesus face-to-face and my first thought is: "How fortunate and lucky (I don't really believe in "luck", it's just a word that comes in handy sometimes) Silas
is to get to meet Jesus while he's still little and innocent and clean
in heart and mind and spirit!" He gets to run wildly with open arms and
his head held high to embrace Him and receive His embrace. He's not
worried about the years he lived here on earth and how he failed Jesus;
disappointed with himself because of his sin and mistakes. He's not
plagued by thoughts of all that he could have done but didn't do for
Jesus. He's not hung-up on his unworthiness. He's only 4 years old.
He's just thankful to get his new body and ready to be with Jesus!
I was feeling a bit envious and a little sorry for myself and the fact that I do
have all those disappointments and regrets and hang-ups. Why can't we
all run to Jesus with our arms opened wide and our heads held high? I
want that too! But then Jesus reminded me of what He said in Matthew
18:3: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
And all of the sudden, thinking of Silas, I understood what He meant
and I realized that I have definitely NOT been doing that!
Silas
is an innocent little boy but he's also a sinner, unworthy of God's
love - we all are. We are born that way. But Silas is so young and
innocent that He's not over-analyzing God's promises of love and
forgiveness and giving us His Righteousness. He doesn't try to figure
it all out and prove it or disprove it in his mind. He doesn't fret
about whether he's going to pass or fail. He just accepts it as a fact
and receives it with excitement and thankfulness.
With
that image in my mind, of Silas running into Jesus' arms, I realize
that is how Jesus wants ME to come running to Him as well! He doesn't
want me to come with my head bowed down, in shame and regret; hesitant
about approaching Him; hung up on all my regrets about how I lived my
life here on earth. He wants me to be like a child. While yet a sinner
- still innocent and wide-eyed, excited, grateful, accepting and
believing in HIM and His promise of love and forgiveness and clothing me
with His Righteousness; making all things new and innocent again!
His
incredible grace and mercy is such a HUGE, UNFATHOMABLE GIFT that we
find it hard to understand and grasp. That He can or is willing and
desires to take all our sin and failures and mistakes and regrets and
make us clean of them all and free us from that bondage and the weight
of regret and guilt and give us HIS Righteousness as a gift! A gift we
don't deserve and could never earn - it's just His love-gift to us. So
when God looks at us He doesn't see our unrighteousness; He sees Jesus'
Righteousness that covers over our multitude of sin. That's why He can
receive us into His Holy Presence - because we've been forgiven and set
free.
But
oh, when will I learn that I don't have to wait until Heaven - while
that hope sustains and strengthens me - I have this gift here and now on
earth, in my every day life. I have accepted His gift of salvation and
grace and forgiveness and freedom! So, I don't have to over-analyze
and fear and regret because that would be to throw away this precious
Gift that Jesus gave me. That would be like if someone gifted me with
the finest meal at the finest restaurant on earth and I just decided to
go to McDonald's instead.
It's
completely my choice. God has already given me the gift. The ball is
in my court. Do I really believe Him? Do I accept His Gift - not just
in word but in deed? Do I come to Him like a child - all dizzy-happy in
my innocence - that sweet innocence that He gave me - with my arms
opened wide and my head held high; running into His arms; loving Him
freely and boldly; receiving His love, receiving His forgiveness - His
grace and mercy...His Gift of Freedom?
Do I receive it and LIVE IT... or do I choose to stay in bondage and regret and worry and anxiety and disappointment?
It's my choice...
...and only I can choose.
